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Stop "shoulding" yourself.

cbt language motivation thoughts Mar 18, 2024
Blog post: the word


Thank you to those who made it to the Happiness Habits book launch party, hopefully everyone had as much fun as I did!

I've been contemplating the power of words quite a lot lately, especially as I neared the end of all the editing before Happiness Habits going to print. Choosing our words wisely has a huge impact not just on our relationships, but also on our own emotional wellbeing. This is really clearly seen in self compassion, where we practice speaking kindly to ourselves rather than critically.

The words we use in our self talk can be powerful in other ways too. Take the word "should" for example. How do you feel when someone tells you you "should" do something? For me, I feel instantly like rebelling! It makes the idea feel like a chore, even if it's something that's meant to be fun, like a suggestion that I SHOULD go and see a movie! (similarly, the use of the word "homework" in therapy can make us feel like doing the stuff that helps us feel better is a chore! I want to stop using this word too.) 

I'd love it if you notice any ways you are SHOULDING yourself this week. And see what happens if you try coming up with reasons why you WANT to do something instead. This little hack can have big results in terms of our emotions and motivation. Hopefully this helps you tune into what you really want your week to include, and what you WANT to focus on! 

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